Seriously people, I cant write a blog post. I have 7 drafts in the past few weeks. I cant seem to finish them. Tomorrow, I will hop in a plane just to hop off the plane, hop in a car just to hop out of the car, climb up a mountain and climb back down it, and make it just in time for Thanksgiving Dinner with my family.


I am so excited to see what I call "Gods Prime Creation" ( dogs rank in this category) tomorrow. My heart is at rest in His creation, because it was in the mountains where I learned to find rest in His Word. Grab hold of His truth and flee from evil.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Remembering why I loved the things I once Loved.

My goodness, I can hardly find time to write!

                          I have so many great and exciting things going on! I cant post any pictures on Facebook about what I do. I have to keep the kids privacy in mind. But we just finished a week of VBS for the preschoolers. I just simply love preschoolers, maybe because they don't understand the worries of the world, and preschoolers are fun.
                          Blessed am I. I had no idea what moving to Chaska would do to my life. I spent a whole year, realizing that I actually made the decision to go to Chaska over Taiwan.... and I was just boggled that I did that. But God guides... and He shows.
                           I get an opportunity to begin a new ministry, that involves every member in our congregation. From Adults, to children, to infants. We are starting "The Story", by Max Lucado and Randy Frazee. Small groups, Bible Studies, children's programs... I have been so busy writing, studying, coordinating, programing, and having many discussions about it. I will continue to be busy, because we have one month till we start the 31 week study! But God is good, all Glory to Him.

                            I had a chance to attend a WMPL ( World Mission Prayer League) meeting 2 nights ago in Minneapolis. I had some nervousness about attending it for many different reasons. I had been praying about attending WMPL for months. I knew I would fall in love with the ministry, and I don't know if I have time for that. haha So.. I put on a brave hat and adventured down there. What a beautiful place, with people who Love the Lord. There was a couple from Bolivia that spoke. They spoke of their ministry, struggles, their family, and their passion to serve.

I left encouraged.

Encouraged to follow the gifts and passions God has given to me.

I also left focused.

Focused on what He has called me to do in Chaska. 

I left knowing I am loved by the King

And I remembered again, why I loved the things I once loved.

I'm done writing. If I keep writing I wont stop. Please continue to pray for me, my heart is aching in areas and it is joyful in others. But, God has only showed His faithfulness and love for me.

I need to hike a mountain.

"Be still my soul"

Learning those words.  What a beautiful hymn that speaks truth.

::June::

The past few weeks have been nothing but a round and about challenge of life kinda roller coaster.

I have been praying a lot about direction. The Lord has guided me here to serve in Minnesota, but I have been torn here and there in certain areas of my life. Relationships, jobs, youth, family, travel, community, etc... what comes first? Living with no family around, but yet a HUGE field that is in need of Christ... It has been nothing but a story to see how this new place in Minnesota has become my home.


Here are some things that happened the past few weeks

Met a houseful of Christian ladies who are serving Christ in Minneapolis

Said "goodbye"

Flew across the country to celebrate a wedding of 2 very close friends

met 78 new day campers :) what joy they were.

took a break from painting.

re-evaluated

Spent many hours working.

ran a lot

dreamt

laughed with the girls

::took photos::

prepared

prayed

and so much more.

 

In 2 days I leave to take my youth to the gathering in Texas: for 9 days we will be there.  We shall see what stories I come back with!

 

 

Prayer
Thanksgiving
He is faithful
He who guides, provides
 

Trinity Sunday

Tomorrow is one of my favorite days in the church year, it is Trinity Sunday.  The Trinity can not be understood, it cannot be picked apart in clear explanation, and it remains out of our comprehension. However, what we do know about the Trinity is truth. The Trinity has stood as a foundation to our purpose and use as Christians in the World today.


 A few years back, I was in the debate with my degree selection back in college. I was going back and forth with Ecclesiastical Art and or Theological studies.  So I decided to do both, in a different way.
In Fall of 2009, I began to build a Stained Glass Window. The essence of the Trinity was my inspiration. As I look back, I cant believe I finished it! A year and a half went by, and it was complete.

But still, my art does not come close to the understanding of the Trinity. It cannot depict the nature and existence of God in its context, texture, and expression, neither can my words. When I finished, I was so glad to be done. I couldn't look at it for a few months because I still knew it wasn't complete. The window just didn't say it all, not even close.  

 

The Trinity is an important part to the Christian Doctrine. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, One God but yet 3 persons. Their character, purpose, and actions are recorded in the scriptures, but until we see our Lord on the final day we cannot comprehend the Trinity.

The Trinity was also a doctrine not accepted in the religious culture in my home town. It was pressed on my heart to discover and learn more because of its rejection. Where are people refusing this doctrine? What is making more sense to them then the Trinity? My hometown was filled with members of " The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints". This doctrine is denied by their church body because it clashes with their understanding of their own purpose.  Perhaps another time I will go into more detail, but as you can see the Trinity was a doctrine pressed against me at a young age.

Here is a blog that I really enjoyed, it focuses on The Trinity and Missions! http://wmpl.org/2013/05/trinity-sunday/ 

 

What we do know about the Trinity is found in the Word of God. As we continue to read about the Father as a sender, the work that Christ did,  and the work of the Holy Spirit  we learn more about each character and their unity with eachother.

 

Praise the Trinity for using all of us in His own time, for His glory and purpose, and for giving us the strength to declare our Lord as Holy.

 

 

Now... I have to teach this to children. :) :) haha. Lord give me the Words.

 

 





 

There are so many joys today. The Sun is out, My friend Kelsey is graduating from College and delivering her speech, the children are filled with crazy happiness, and I spent all day yesterday with a 6 day old baby. ( for those of you that know me... this shocked myself)  Today, it is my day off but I like to work ahead, so that I can enjoy my days and not get behind. For Monday, we have to pick out some hymns for a funeral service we are having at church. Since my church is so young, this is the 2nd funeral we have had since last August. My Pastor and I are blessed with the opportunity to comfort with words of truth, from the Grace of God to a family that is mourning.


2 weeks before Thanksgiving 2011, Rachel and I got in our car and made the hardest trip we have had to make. We woke up and drove, from Milwaukee to Detroit. We knew we would arrive upon a "goodbye". Grandma Ella was saying goodbye to us all. Of course, we saw joy that day. She just wanted to play go fish, and talk about her life. She told us a story about how she danced with our Grandpa, and fell in love with him. Very romantic, I know. But it wasn't just that story she left us with. With a wonderful voicemail to our whole family, letters, cards, etc...   She left a passion. Her heart  was confident in the Lord and his promises. As a child she knew the Word of God, it was engraved in her, like an inscription. The Holy Spirit gave her the Word to recite in her memory, and reflect upon. We saw her recite the Word. Not reading from the bible, but it was internalized in her heart.  I have seen this in my Mom.  When all else went in life, Grandma Ella still had the foundation of Gods Word. 
When we said our goodbyes at the hospital, I knew her prayer was for us to be able to say " Jesus is my life, my hopes foundation, and my glory and salvation" with all confidence. Because this is truth.
Every tear, prayer, hug, and grasp. Rachel and I knew what was ahead. We knew it was Life.  I just pray that in times of despair, and in our weakness,  we may all return upon the knowledge and hope we were given in our Baptism and through his Word. To God our Lord be praised for this.

For Monday, We praise Jesus for the Salvation he has given to us all, the gift of eternal life.

 

On my heart imprint Your image, Blessed Jesus, King of grace

That life's riches, cares, and pleasures Never may your work erase;

Let the clear inscription be: Jesus, crucified for me,

Is my life, my hopes foundation, And my glory and salvation.

 

my wonderful family

This is my family minus my brother Luke & Naomi. I don't know why, but we all match. haha

This photo was taken a little over a year ago at my twin sisters graduation.  Although we don't get to see eachother often, because we all live so far apart. We stay in close contact: phone calls, messages, emails, letters, etc... It gets tough being away, but such a blessing they all are!!!

With Idaho, Montana, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania, I am the only one who started collecting miles. My family is insane for not following my lead. HA!

My father is a pastor who works so hard, taking on 2 jobs he dedicates himself fully to the ministry.  While my mother is incredible, she loves and is positive in everything she does.

I miss them so much. This month to the date, it has been 1 year since I last saw them in person. We all had a picnic on lake Michigan at the harbor in Port Washington. It was such a beautiful day! I love them and miss them so much.  God has led us all so many different places, that we knew we would have to make this sacrifice of our face to face time. We are all going to see each other so soon!!! And I am SOOOOOOOOO EXCITED. I may just cry!

 

The past week I have challenged myself to go the extra mile or 2 in everything. From waking up earlier, running another mile, journaling every night, reading before I sleep, finding time to paint, spending more time in prayer, and working far ahead.

These are the things I have learned.

 Mind over Matter: it is possible

I need the Word for my daily strength ( Mind, body, and soul)

Patience is being redefined.

I am an EXTRAVERT, things have not changed since I started living on my own.

Grocery Shopping is not delightful anymore

There is always a need for Grace.

The preschoolers contribute to my daily joy

Most people want intimacy in the church: home churches.

I have to find time to rest or I will end up with a fever for what seems like days.

laughing with a 3 year old will recharge my motivation : Jazzercise with the preschool

I need spiritual support: a partner for ministry

 

I look forward to a new week of learning. God is always good, in all things.

my soul finds rest in God alone. psalms 62:1




 

Where will you go?

perhaps, I should give an update on my thoughts.

Since last August, I started working at Christ Victorious Lutheran Church in Chaska, MN. Never in my life did I want to work at a church, especially in a place where there are sidewalks. Strange, I know... I could spend a few minutes laughing. But the Suburban family lifestyle is not for me, until... God said it was.


The past few years, I have fallen in love with Gods people.
I can be more specific. Since 2009, God has given me a passion for cross cultural ministry. I worked with people from other religions, cultures, life styles, etc..  I learned to communicate, and I learned to listen.  Not only did I learn things, but I saw God use my gifts and talents. I saw Him work through his gifts of baptism and the Word to those who had never heard his Name before. From there, he put a passion in me to learn, experience, and teach.

   I am challenged by people who find it selfish to serve as a missionary or to even serve cross culturally. I was challenged this past week, and I just became very saddened. Jesus Christ is Lord of Lords, King of Kings, and our Everlasting Savior. He has created his people to serve. We have been given spiritual gifts of all kinds, and God knows exactly where to place us to do His work. However, I definitely have ideas where I want to serve, but it may not be where God wants me.

Lets get real, I am in Chaska. It is not Asia or Peru.  Chaska, is a culture of its own. From a fast paced life to a family vacation, back to school and sports practice, there are joys and challenges.  It is time oriented, not people oriented.  This is my daily question : What are the needs here? 

The answer: For this community to receive forgiveness, and to be made heirs of his Kingdom in Jesus' name.

It is a long process that cant be accomplished in a week, but God can do all things.

For the past 9 months, I have been getting to know my congregation, I have been spending time with the youth, elderly, preschoolers, and of course the congregation members dogs (I dog sit a a lot).

From here on out, In everything I do, I must point to Christ.  I will fail, and I will fail miserably at times.  The reminder I need, and the reminder we all need is that his forgiveness is the daily strength we need. His forgiveness has led us to be Gods people with a purpose, a purpose to proclaim with boldness and no hindrances. Let our Everlasting King be praised.

There are a lot of you who are praying, and I ask that you keep praying for me. As my passion for cultures and missions is put on hold and a new passion for outreach is being stirred, I ask that the Lord do His will in all things.



 

I will take Joy.

In the midst of trials, our faith is put to the test.

"My heart pounded,  my lips quivered at the sound, and my legs trembled." Habakkuk, one of my favorite Prophets of the Old Testament understood fear and doubt. He understood the need to have it removed. And he understood what effect it had on a person.

This week fear and doubt  have trickled in, it stays and it seems that it wont leave. If I could use detailed words to explain exact situations I would... but I cant. There is a verse I have memorized, and repeating it over and over gives me comfort.  I can imagine my lips saying these words as I was slowly falling asleep last night...

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19

I can think back to a time when I was hiking. I was night backpacking up to Sawtooth Lake, in Idaho... It was my first time going, I had no idea what to expect... AT ALL. We had to go up 4, 000 feet pretty fast, starting at the base. The Sun was setting I didn't have a headlamp, so I had a person behind me and in front with one. I constantly needed the light to guide my way. When a switchback would come, I desperately needed a glimpse of light, just so I could be confident in my steps.  It brought a lot of stress on my body, especially knowing I had 2,000 more feet to go.
  If only I could of caught glimpses of my surroundings.... to the left was a mystery... to the right was a mystery... in front of me was a mystery...and behind me, well that was a mystery too.

The light was my comfort, I can imagine the stress right now and my physical need to see it. Its like my body drenched all the daily comforts I had, and I became dry and in need. I was vulnerable to the darkness and lack of light. I cant explain quite in words.

When we got to the top, it was flat... and we continued on. We set up a 2 person tent and pushed 5 people in it. We were pretty warm and had a few laughs, but was I ever grateful knowing I was finally somewhere to stay. 
When I woke the next morning.... I was amazed.



I opened the tent and I was in awe.

I pulled out my journal and sketched....

I didn't take  a picture.

It was beautiful.





After a few minutes, I got up... followed the trail a little bit more...

and there it was...

the prime spotlight of Gods creation in this beautiful place...

WE call upon the Lord when we are desperate. We cling to what we can for comfort of any kind...  Habakkuk, too was desperate. He was desperate for the Salvation of the people... He himself prayed this prayer to the Lord. He needed comfort, the people needed comfort, and the Lord told him to wait.  Christ the Lord was coming.
 In my perspective, when only glimpses of light show...I can say with my knowledge and with my heart, from the faith he has given to me...that my Lord is faithful. He  sure does have something beautiful for me to see.

Freedom

Today, my friend Isaac wrote me a message and told me about Galatians 5:1

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free"

 

 "What does it mean to live in freedom?"  (insert your answer here) Your answers are important, please if you read this, post it in a comment.
"What keeps US from the freedom Christ gives?" ( Insert your answer here)
(Mark 15: 21, Luke 23: 26)
Simon, a man from Cyrene, met the soldiers as they were forcing Jesus to Carry the cross upon which he would be crucified on. They forced Simon to take the cross and carry it.
Simon, a man, in sudden haste, forced to carry a cross of a man who claimed to be the Savior. If you were Simon, you probably knew about the accusations of Jesus, but what if you were forced to carry the "Saviors" cross?

How would Simon answer this question " What does it mean to live in freedom?"

What is the rest of Simons story?  What did he tell others?

Do you think Simon learned of the freedom in that walk, the sight, the sounds, or the cry from our Lord ON the cross... the cross that he too carried?

DID he learn of the freedom, the freedom we were given that day?

Today, Christians are falling into a deadly trap, of not embracing their freedom in Christ, but instead embracing their shame and guilt.  Young women live in guilt of who they once were and what they once did, because they are judged by a man. Same thing for men. A million examples can be given. Friends, our sin is not domineering to our God. Our sin is not bigger than our God.

Our Savior has set us free.

Our Savior has set you free.

EMBRACE IT.

"Who the Son sets free is free indeed"

 

Acts 11: 19-21, Romans 16: 13

 

Unfinished

"My Soul finds Rest in God Alone"

Psalms 62:1

Minnesota: 3 weeks down. How many breaths have I taken? If we do the math correctly we would get a number that is probably alot higher than 345,893,009 breaths. These are breaths I have taken with people around me, in unfamiliar and familiar places.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are called TO LOVE, and to be loved. We are the Beloved of the Lord.

"Goals and the Process"

I wrote that paragraph above 5 months ago. Little did I realize, that finished products are not quite my cup of tea. As you can see, I stoped writing after the 4th sentence. I also have 26 blog "drafts", all within the past 3 months. (This blog will probably stay unfinished and if you read it, congrats, because I would be so lost). Not even my paintings that have seen hours of wet paint on them, have been called "FINISHED". Is something is wrong with me? I must loose motivation fast.

Back in April, I was painting in the studio.  We were in the midst of a conversation and my Profesor told me,

 

"Nothing ever is finished. If you call it finished, it wasnt worth the paint."

 

You see, when he said that to me, I turned around, my eyes widened, and I gave him the most sincere smile, . Finally, i was able to figure it out! I was so comforted knowing that the finished products arent always the purpose. I needed to hear that.

The problem with me, is my perspective is changing all the time... no wonder I cant finish anything.

Perspectives are constantly changing. A change of perspective bring us out of ruts, out of mood swings, bad behavior patterns, bad habbits. depressions, etc... A change of persepctive also enhances our lives. We see more, acknowledge more, realize more, and we are more aware. Perspectives allow us to be creative, and understanding.



However, today I struggled.

My perspective on my life was challenged.  I was thinking about my goals in life. Am I headed toward my finished product? Is what I am doing right now helping me get there? 
I dont want to talk about my specific life goals in the blog, that is for a personal converation that i will hopefuly have one day with you)

Goals are great, but it is the process that shapes and forms us. We may never get to our goal, perhaps that is not Gods desire for you, but instead his desire is shaping you into his Beloved. The process is where we see the life changes. The process is where you will see a new  glimpse into a new perspective,  new challenges, new loves, new understanding, and new goals arise.



It is the process that changes us.

Today,  I was reminded of Gods grace in my life. My Lord is domineering over my fears, pains, and anxiousness. Friends, dont ever leave his Word, hold fast, stay strong, take part in the blessings of his Sacraments, and cling to what is good. From there He shapes you into his.  We never finish, until we run into His arms.

my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him